Thursday, July 31, 2014

George R R Martin look alikes



There seems to be a pretty obvious theme that has been set in the whole TWO HOURS since Castle Awesome has been back satisfying your urge to waste endless time on the Internet (we all know what you're really doing.)

And that, dear humans, is  #NOREASON

WHY?!

Because who needs one. Exactly.

So in the spirit of our revival I present you the following:

Fat idiots George R R Martin look alikes.

Look at this first one. I know right, just a shitty costume but he's totally got the hat and beard right look at the comparison.




Then there's this guy, just another shitty costume. I don't like his beard.




Ok, we're getting better at it now. This guy actually made the effort of stuffing his shirt, because so far people haven't really tried to imitate his obesity. Which is an issue, but I guess that's what happens if you take DECADES to write a goddamn series of books.




Lets take a brief break <-- Mandatory break viewing. Click it.

AND WE'RE BACK


This is probably the only decent one.




He's even got that weird little hat emblem, turtle, pendent, thing, or whatever it is..

This next one I guess kinda looks like a weird version of him, but it could just be a fat dude.




If you squint like Fry you can kinda see it




Then again, I may have it all wrong. If we consult The Holy Gospel of Yahoo Answers maybe it is our rotund fantasy obsessed shut-in that looks like someone else even more famous than he









THAT'S IT!


Congratulations! You've sat through a complete bullshit post that's all in the spirit of the revived Castle Awesome that is sure to bring you about as much pleasure as cross dressing Khal Drogo getting nailed in da butt by a bearded Daenerys Targaryen!




#NOREASON












WE'RE BACK FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON

We have been going on with this silly thing (the Castle) for about 5 years now. With breaks. Lots of breaks. At least 7 breaks. One of the breaks was for a year or so. Much breaks.

Why keep going? I have no idea. For no reason at all i guess.


So we really have no reason but to continue.



Seven people will read up to here



We don't really know what we do here. So if you missed the last five years i'll bring you up to speed. We posted about a vagina music video once. There's a guy who posts about absolutely useless bullshit. We changed our url to a .com and then had it shut down losing years of posts. That's about it. This will be the first post on this incarnation of the Castle for almost two years.


That is all you missed.

Five people will read up to here

So why the fuck should you read Castle Awesome? No reason.



no reason


This is reason enough to read Castle Awesome. Here is a quick guide on the places to take advantage of this sites useless content.

YOU SHOULD READ THE CASTLE WHILST...

  • taking a long and comforting dump
  • eating a sandwich by yourself 
  • on a bus
  • canoeing 
  • filling in time before your imminent death 
  • having to wait quite a while for food in a restaurant and the person opposite you is less interesting than learning about how to perform a rad hand shake in an obscure french film (it's totally worth watching)

Two people will have read down to here. One because they hate all of this, but have had their internet connection severed during the course of reading and this is the only site loaded on their internet browser. Sucks to be you.




WE'LL POST ON...

  • Strange/obscure/shit/blockbuster films
  • The Dark corners of the internet
  • Memes/Trends
  • Tech
  • Triple A and indie games
  • Useless bullshit
  • Records & underground electronic music like this & this.


So please maybe like the fezbook page and get ready for something weird or mildly amusing for every bowel movement. Posts will appear in the next few days, weeks, years. 


This could be the last post ever.





If you made it this far than please accept my gratitude here.


Also this



Monday, October 29, 2012

Monday Massacre - It's Not A Cookie

#Monday #KermitTheFrog #CookieMonster #ItsNotACookie

Happy Monday!
Please do not to murder your co-workers.


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Who the F is U?

@manmakemusic
There is nothing known about 'U'. He/She/They/It just released a 10" on George Fitzgerald's Man Make Music label. Listen to the track 'Eah' below and you'll probably order it immediately here

This is some bodaciously down shit. I'm very very pleased with this sound. All hail 'U'



try on the B1 track below. It's also got that 'what the fuck am i listening to, this is amazing' sound.

JUST GO WITH IT!



Grab a free track of U's here (tis not on the 10")

Monday, October 15, 2012

Safety Not Guaranteed - The Review.

#Safetynotguaranteed #Madmanfilms



How often are you pleasantly surprised by a film? I find that whenever i expect a movie to be great, more often than not it is a flaccid attempt by the writer/director to play on the audiences emotions in an effort to make their film resonate with the viewer.

So when i walk into a film not being able to even remember the title of it, i obviously haven't set my bar very high. My cohort and I were furiously trying to remember the title, "Safety not Guaranteed" it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, yet by the time we left the cinema, i don't think i will ever forget the title of this film again.

Something i find from most of the 2012 films i have watched this year is that they lack heart and genuine emotion, Safety not Guaranteed has it in spades. while i felt that one of the characters was superflous to the story, their own journey was equally as emotional as the main character.

Considering you have probably never heard of most of the actors in this film, it maintains an exceptionally high level of acting, the script never panders to the audience and the emotion is there, take it or leave it.

Basic plot - A somewhat crazy guy places and ad in the classifieds looking for a someone to go on a time traveling adventure with him, safety not guaranteed. (ooooh, they say the title of the film!)

I really don't want to tell you anything more about Safety Not Guaranteed besides go see it, you won't be disappointed.

I give this film 4.5 out of 5.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Shit Post Sunday - Some Other Time


Lapalux is about to release his 2nd EP 'Some Other Time' on Brainfeeder. It is a beautiful/wondrous/sexy/edible treat. Listen to a few tracks from it below. Then buy it here



download this track for frees here 






Sunday, September 30, 2012

Randomer created 'Daddy Funk'

@RohanRandomer
Randomer is pretty new on the scene (been round a couple of years). He created that super swell remix of Clouds Consciousness track (also an earlier release on Hemlock)........ then THIS!!! 'We Laugh, We Scream' is soon to be released (October 1) on Hemlock. It is INSANE. Acid, Breakbot, twisted DADDY FUNK. That's it. He's created a new genre of dance music.... DADDY FUNK. 

this man is daddy funkin


Boy is this sound a breath of fresh air. Truly boneriffic. BEATBONER of the year below. 


Listen to the whole EP here

BUY IT ON VINYL HERE (I bought it after hearing the second track)





Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Gangnam is taking over our favourite things

Jesus all of our fears have come true. It's actually taking over..... fml


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The greatest thing ever made by a human.

#Starwarsanime @starwars

This is just the Tits. So apparently this isn't finished yet, a wayward email has enabled this to be posted all over the inter webs, and now you can watch it. Enjoy.




A letter from the creator.

"Hello there! Haha, that is really rather excellent. I did grin quite creepily when I heard the first TIE sound effect... recognised the AT-AT walking sound too! I won't ask you to take it down, though I really am trying to keep it low profile since it's rough and unfinished (about 30 people have been helping critique it on the 4chan /m/ mecha board, so it was supposed to be only them seeing it until it was complete, but then it got posted on 109, Twitter etc and flew out of control). Maybe if you could slap a disclaimer in the title or info, saying how it is completely work in progress? Thanks for having the decency to ask, as well. You are a true gentlemen! Feel free to stop by /m/, which is where I'll probably be doing future updates. I've been getting some excellent feedback (this version is the third revision and much better than the first one thanks to comments) from there, and will welcome any suggestions!

Paul J."

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Chilly Gonzales Composing Solo Piano II

@chillygonzales

This is a great watch after listening to the bliss that is Chilly Gonzales' Solo Piano II. Buy it here if you haven't already.

"Now that you all have a copy of SOLO PIANO II, Chilly Gonzales shares a three part short documentary showing you how the album was made. Director Adam Traynor (Ivory Tower) reveals that purest and most microscopic process of recording which took place back in December 2011, at Paris’ Studio Pigalle where, alone for 10 days, Chilly Gonzales recorded a handful of songs that had made the short list from a hundredor so melodies written over the eight years that had passed since the release of the now iconic Solo Piano".



Friday, September 14, 2012

Breakbot - One out of Two Music Video

@breakbot

Check out this expensive looking narrative driven music video for Breakbot's latest single 'One Out of Two'. His album drops next week!!!!


One out of Two is a solid pop song but this track has got me all excited (see below). Once again the track features Irfane. These two go together like marshmallows and campfires. 

Monday, September 10, 2012

TNGHT redone~

@BADBADNOTGOOD @TNGHT @MADDECENT

So this is awesome. BADBADNOTGOOD covers TNGHT's Bugg'n and it's rad. Very Battleseque but kind of gritty and yeah. Watch. Listen. Froth.



The original is below (for those silly peoples that haven't heard Bugg'n yet)



If any Castle followers have got other live covers of dope tunes you think would make us moist? Add in comments.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Shit Post Sunday - Vinyl - The Documentary

@vinyl
Behold the untamed obsession of Vinyl nerds. This is a truely interesting doco.

Sit down and grab a scotch. You are ready. PLAY.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Armored kill Launch Trailer. - UPDATED

@battlefield #armoredkill #bf3

Launch Trailer has just popped up online. HOLY BALLS OF ULTIMATE DOOM!

GAME!



This is what happens when a group of developers put their semen on a game disc.



So Pretty. Can't wait to destroy it!




Skip to the 2 minute mark to get to the English speaking section.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

An Exciting... and risky documentary worth seeing


How To Make Money Selling Drugs. 


This looks awesome! Ground breaking and completely against
the norm! Adrian Grenier (Entourage) executive produces.
If you didn't see his most recent doco "Teenage Paparazzo"
then you're missing out. See it now! 

HTMMSD trailer below. Watch it in HD it is shot beautifully! 



Monday, September 3, 2012

Shit Post Sunday - Romancer 3000





This boy made this video for his girl. He totally got laid for doing this. I WANT HIS SHIRT.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Mike & Menstruations







 Jonathon banks was in a menstruation education film in 1974. That is all.

Elan @ the Boiler Room L.A.

@itsmeelan

The most fresh sounding Electronic music producer today. Playing live. Enjoy. It's friday.

ALL NEW STUFFS!

Castle Beats

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