BATTLESHIP - Half Baked Review

@battleshipmovie #halfbakedreview

IF YOU  FOUND TRANSFORMERS A LITTLE TOO SUBTLE. 

THEN THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU...

Caravan here....OK so this is my first time writing for the castle… and let me say what a pleasure!

introducing......

half baked reviews

HALF-BAKED REVIEWpast participle, past tense of halfbakeying (Verb)

Verb:

Watching a film whilst under the influence of alcohol, cough syrup, ritalin or some form of mind altering substance Writing a review about said film in the same mind altered state.

Let this be the first of many. 

Hit the jump to read the review. 

BATTLESHIP - half baked review

So every now and then when you're hanging out you watch trailers at home. My preferred method is the amazing apple TV… not sprucing products at all.. SUBWAY/PEPSI MAX/US NAVY 

We've all come across the occasional trailer within our pleasure viewing

that is…. well … lets say, fucking spastic. 

Of recent this trailer is for a film called Battleship. The film of course was suppose to be shot on our local shores on the gold coast in Australia. But then our dollar grew stronger than the US and we fucked them up…. wait….. this is a war movie… they have more ships than us…. fuck.  (Haynezeeboy - You really weren't sober when you wrote this dribble)

The spastic trailer leads into a typical America teenager style boy movie opener. Hot guy….. umm i mean hot girl… really fucking hot girl…. Poor emotional drive between two brothers… something about motivation…. pfft 

And then FUCKING BATTLE SHIPS!!! but not just battle ships.. DESTROYERS!!!!  First we see the HMS Missouri, a retired American battle ship with much was history, moored at dock. With probably our favourite actor on earth… 

FUCKING LIAM LEENSON!!!!! (excuse his film "the Grey" where he does not punch a wolf). Liam Neeson lays out the rules and the began a war games tournament. 

DO NOT SEE 'THE GREY'. Liam Neeson does not punch a wolf in the face.

And then shit gets real. Alien real. 

I'm not going to write anything more about this movie other than to say 

OMFG TOTES AMAZE BALLS.. 

However I would like to reference the following lyrical dialogue genius from the film:

NUMBER ONE: 

"You're going to die, I'm going to die…"

"We're all going to die……. Just not today!" 

Line two:

"I'd like your permission to marry your daughter"

"no" 

"but I saved the world" 

" saving the world is one thing… my daughter is entirely another thing" 

I give this film 5 punches in Rhianna's face. 

Cheers,

Cavaran out. 

TRAILER 

Castle Awesome does not endorse the use of illicit drugs and alcohol should always be consumed responsibly.