Thursday, September 25, 2014

The UNfappening

In case that rock you've been living under doesn't have Internet, or some wild South Park scenario has emerged whereby you have to get your Innernet down Californee way...

The Fappening 
was the beginning of the most hilarious live updated 24 hours in the recent history of the Internet so in Internet time that's like a month a nude celebrity photo scandal.
The story goes like this; celebrities take explicit photos of themselves on their personal devices and these personal devices which are connected to "online cloud storage accounts" were "hacked all at once" resulting in both a large bounty of soft core celebrity pornography for the perverts, and, an ENDLESS bounty of lolz at the current state of the retarded sensationalised circus that has become the mainstream media.
More specifically, from idiots such as Brett Larson (yes that is his twitter account, go tell him he's an idiot) who tried to tell us that the seedy underbelly of the Internet; giant forum site 4chan, is an individual hacker whom we should establish the identity of. 

The reason why I use italics and quotations so flippantly is because there are a multitude of theories as to how this all started. The best of them being that this has exposed an underground hacking ring that's been going on for years around the corners of 4chan and the Deep Web. This kind of makes sense because one of the affected, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, was terrified at her leak because she claimed the raunchy photo of her was from several years ago. Which is kinda creepy.
So basically once material is obtained, and the the longer it is held on to by less individuals, it becomes more exclusive and thus; the greater its monetary value.

Yep. It's kinda really fucking creepy, these guys are selling these libraries of nude celebrity photos to one another which makes you wonder if they're doing it to the rest of the plebeian occupants of the Internet such as you or I,  and trust me, mine are hhhaaaaaaawwwwwwtttt, your computer would explode at my hotness; that's how hot they are.

Look, if you haven't figured it out already the Internet is a pretty fucked up place. Judging by the 10 million hits one of the lead Fappening update websites had IN THREE DAYS during what has now been dubbed the second cumming, I'm going to assume you already know that and are personally halfway to solving the energy crises with your right wrist. But if you're ignorant of this fact under your stupid little rock then go join the biggest douches in the universe like John Edwards and Brett fucking Larson. (Seriously, go tell him. I did. I'll wait.)


The real reason I'm here today is to share with you a hilarious artist project inspired by The Fappening that is somewhat reminiscent of the genius SFW PORN.

The UNfappening!

Artists working together to cover up the leaked photos, giving celebrities back their dignity!

So take some time out from that busy work morning and have a browse, don't worry, you can totally browse it at work because all the nudity is covered!

(You totally shouldn't do that and will probably be fired. Castle Awesome will not be held responsible for your stupidity.)

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